After 23 years since my parents got divorced, my Dad announced a month ago that he is engaged. This past November, he moved to Yuma, AZ. While there he met this woman, and 3 months later were engaged. Now, the two of them are up to visit and so my dad can do the taxes for his business.
He and his fiancÃ© are coming over for dinner tomorrow night where I will meet her for the first time. After so many years since the divorce, I never thought that either my mom or dad would get re-married, so this is kinda weird. I do hope the two of them are happy together.
I wouldn’t say I’ve ever been extremely close to my dad over the years, and for a long time I was very bitter as I received no help through college from him. Over the past few years, we have made attempts to get to know each other better through dinner once a month, but I still feel like I don’t really know him. I only just came out to him about a year ago. He, of course, already knew and was fine with who I am. For me the stress of telling him was unbearable. I had told my mom long ago when I turned 21. But, my dad’s family has some racist and bigoted tendencies and that had me scared for many years.
After all this time, it’s a strange concept for me to get used to. It was weird enough for me last year when my brother got married. Now my dad is getting married again. Even though, I would like to have the ability to get married, I have to admit that I have been very anti-marriage personally. But that may have to change as well, given the fact that my 3 year anniversary with Dan is approaching fast.
How does one know when they are ready, and if it is indeed right for them? I have to say, I am happy with things as they are right now, and I don’t feel emotionally ready or mature enough for that level of commitment. But then, I see my dad getting engaged after not 3 years, but only after 3 months to a woman he just met.
I have seen what happens when a relationship ends in divorce, and the idea of that happening to me scares me to death. My parents still don’t really want to have any contact with each other. This is one of the things that gets me in trouble all the time… I worry too much about what could happen. I worry that the past will repeat itself.
So tomorrow, I am taking the day off from work, and getting the house cleaned up and ready for my dad’s visit with his fiancÃ©. Maybe seeing them together will help me to overcome my fears.