The Grief Process

My family, at my brother, Rob’s wedding two summers ago.

My family, at my brother, Rob’s wedding two summers ago.

Losing my dad so soon has been such a surreal experience. The last few days have been such a roller coaster of emotions. From just breaking down completely after hearing, and not being able to control my emotions to trying to just figure out how I am supposed to feel right now. Everyone has been great, assuring me that there is no wrong way to be feeling right now.

The realization that I will never get to see my father has started to set in, and it is very hard for me to grasp right now. If one good thing has come out of all this, it’s that my brother and I worked great as a team pulling together to make many of the necessary calls needed to help get my father to his final resting spot with his parents. We were able to put all the awkwardness of our past aside and just deal with trying to do right by our father.

I don’t have any time frame as of yet when anything is to happen… I know that I am going to be making a few trips down to Arizona I am sure. I will have to help Darlene sort through all my father’s belongings to figure out what is what. I am not ready for any of that… Being the oldest, I am the executer, and that is a responsibility that just terrifies me!

I am going to try to go to work tomorrow, but my boss has assured me that whatever I need during this time, he will do everything he can to accommodate it. Dan is being so good to me! I have had moments where I have frankly been a right ass… and he said that I have every right to be that way right now… I still hate that I am… but I have not quite gained control of my emotions yet.

I thank all my friends that have offered their condolences and support during this time. It has been a great comfort to have everyone reach out like you have been!


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