3 Years! Wow!

cirque251.jpgThis Saturday, June 30th marks a huge milestone. Dan and I will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary together! It seems like just yesterday that I met him at Elitch’s on Pride day. That very awkward first meeting, who would have guessed we’d still be here together after three years. I still remember the first date where he came over to my place, and my cat, Waldo, who is the biggest scaredy cat around new people, walked right up to him. Waldo obviously knew there was something good about Dan!

We have been through a lot together in such a short time. We have dealt with selling my condo, which especially towards the end took a huge toll on us emotionally. It has been such a relief these last three months no longer having that burden, and I know Dan is glad to have the real me back! Dan has been through his share of troubles, and I have seen him grow and become a stronger person. He is finally in a rewarding job that is not retail!

It has been a huge growing experience for both of us. Getting used to living with someone again was a little scary to me at first, but I grew accustomed to it a lot faster than I thought I would. I want to take the time to thank you, Dan, for these past three years, and hope to continue to grow with you for many more to come!

I also want to thank our friend Walt. He, out of the blue, asked if we had any interest in seeing Cirque Du Soleil this summer. He said he had two tickets for June 30th that he would love to give us. I wrote him back and told him that was our anniversary, and he was very glad that he had decided on the right people to give the tickets to! I am very excited to see it this Satuday!


Blog Frustrations

Lately, both Howard, and myself have noticed a severe drop in the performance of our blogs. We are trying to determine where the problem lies. It seems to us to be a database issue on our host site. Bizland is telling us this is not the case, that the site is just as speedy as ever for them.

I would like to hear what your experiences are when visiting our blogs. Does it seem like it is taking forever for it to load for you? Can you comment with information like where you are visiting from, and what type of connection you are using, and who it’s through if possible. And if you are willing to share it, your IP address as well?

It has become a real problem for the two of us, as posting is taking a long time for us, and making it difficult to get new stuff up.

Thanks for you help in advance!

The Almost Wedding Crashers

Tonight, Dan and I had a wedding to go to at the Butterfly Pavilion. It was for a lesbian friend of his from high school. We left early so that Dan could get a gift on the way there, but we still ended up over 30 minutes early.

We walked into the pavilion and this little girl was giving everybody a lei on their way in. We walked in the room, and I waited for Dan to introduce me to her. And then I heard one of the ladies there say… They must be friends of Mark… that’s when things seemed odd.

Dan looked at me and said, I think we might be at the wrong wedding. I looked at him, and said… ok, but there is no where else here for a wedding… He then looked at the invitation that clearly said June 29th! We walked out and gave our leis back to the girl, and I looked at her and said, oops, wrong week. 😳

By qphayes Posted in Humor

Randomness Of 8

This comes from Spicy… Randomness ensues

I have to post these rules: one, each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves. Two, people who are tagged need to write their own blog entry about their eight things and post these rules. Three, at the end of your entry, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names/pseudonyms/blogs. Four, don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog. Ready? Here goes!

1. I hit the snooze at least 7 times before finally getting up in the morning.

2. This is the first summer in 15 years that I have not worked at Elitch Gardens. Although, I will probably still go back and work the Haunted House.

3. I delivered papers for 10 years to cover the cost of summer camp because my parents wouldn’t pay for it.

4. I am deathly afraid of heights, but will ride on a rollercoaster, regardless of how tall it is. (Yes, the Eiffel Tower was torture!)

5. I am days away from celebrating my 3rd anniversary with Dan on June 30th!

6. I have a severe phobia of needles… Can’t even watch animated needles!

7. I have now seen Erasure live 7 times in 5 different cities, and 2 countries.

8. If it’s got lime in it, I’ll always give it a try!

I tag… Dusty, Howard, Kath, Ryan, HDW, Bossy, Kevin and bluedogmobile.

By qphayes Posted in Meme

Who’d of Guessed

So, apparently, I am a lot more vulgar than I thought… Please people, keep your children’s eyes averted! My blog is not appropriate for them!

What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

Mingle2Free Online Dating

All because I used the word Gay 16 times, Suck twice and the f-bomb once.

Since when are gay and suck (Well, when not used together) dirty words?

By qphayes Posted in Humor

That Question… Part 2

Here is the continued accounts of my coming out at a conservative Lutheran college…

After finding out that my girlfriend of six months had been pregnant and gotten an abortion without talking to me, I used that as my out to break up with her. I had been having a harder time struggling with who I was, and this gave me a way out without having to reveal my real feelings just yet.

To compound the conservative nature of the college, it was also in a very small mid-western town of about 5000 people. There was not a whole lot to do, and also, not a whole lot of people for me to have anything in common with. That summer, I decided to stay in the town instead of coming home. It gave me the opportunity to hang out with some college friends without the stress of classes.

I had a job working at a pizza place delivering pizzas. One night towards the end of summer, one of the assistant managers decided to have a little party for some of us. We all got really drunk that night, and it was obvious I wasn’t going home as I wasn’t 21 yet, and the cops had nothing better to do than find people out and about. So he let the girls crash on the couches and we crashed in his bedroom. I didn’t know he had other intentions, and he had some fun with me… I was drunk and confused, and didn’t really know what was going on.

The next day, the girls asked what happened as they heard us from the living room. I told them what had happened, and that I was too drunk to stop him. That whole incident only made me even more confused… I didn’t like what had happened that night and sought counseling. The only place I knew to go, was to the school counselor. I told her what had happened, and she helped me to cope with the fact that I had been raped. She wanted to help me go after the guy, and I told her I just wanted it behind me. I never went back to her.

I had visited Lincoln, NE many times as it was the closest big city to my college. I got the nerve up one night to visit there and tracked down one of the local gay bars there. I walked in, and I could tell the people thought I had walked into the wrong place. I sat down at a table, and looked around the place. There was a pool table with purple felt, and a mannequin hanging from the ceiling. It was a very unfamiliar scene to me, and I didn’t feel comfortable there. Nobody came to talk to me, and I didn’t feel right there, so I left.

I spent the rest of the summer break watching Oprah and Donahue… Back then all the shows pretty much centered around gays coming out and the like. I finally got the nerve to tell one of my best friends in college about what all had happened, and that I had finally realized that I could no longer deny who I was. I told her that I was gay, and to my surprise, she gave me a big hug, and told me that she was so glad that I trusted her enough to say something. She told me about her brother being gay, and a big star on Broadway, something she had never said to me before.

She helped me to find a counselor off campus that could allow me to come to terms with who I was, and not change me, but help me realize that I was a good person, and that there was nothing wrong with me. It took me a few sessions with the counselor, but finally told her why I was there. She said that something like that could not be easy to cope with in the surroundings that I had put myself in. I explained that I had brought it upon myself to try and teach myself to be “normal.” Outside of the college atmosphere, she really helped me to realize that I was ok, and didn’t need to change.

I spent the next year slowly coming out to my friends one by one. Most of them seemed to be ok with it… A few of them told me that they still considered me a friend, but didn’t really talk to me much. I found a lot of strength and support from my friends in the art department.

I know that the school had caught wind of my revelations, and one day I was working my job in the A/V department. One of my jobs was checking in the new videos and getting them ready for rentals. One of the videos that came across my desk was a video about conversion. It was an aid the school had decided they needed in order to try and help homosexuals realize they are straight. It was never suggested to me that I rent it, but I know that my boss had hoped I would take the hint. Shortly after that, I relieved myself of my work study job and got a job at the cafeteria instead.

The school left me alone for the most part after that, and for the most part there weren’t many opportunities for me anyway. Only so much you can do when there are no other “out” gay people at the school. I did have a brief relationship, if you want to call it that, with a guy from my Human Anatomy class… His pickup was rather cliché… asking if I wanted to study together. Let’s just say, I had every intention of actually keeping to the books, but it was clear he had other intentions. He was studying to become a pastor, so the study sessions got less and less frequent, and he no longer looked at me on campus. Once in a while, he would call up and see if we could get together once I moved off campus. I was lonely and desperate, and most of the time caved.

After a year of counseling, I finally got the nerve to tell my mother. I called her up, and told her that I was coming home over Easter break, and that I had something I really needed to talk to her about. I came home, and I still remember the day very clearly, I sat down on the couch, and she was across the room in the chair. I got really quiet and finally after a long delay, I spoke up, I said, Mom, I don’t know how to tell you this other than to just say, I’m Gay. Mind you, I had gone over every scenario with my counselor from being kicked out, to her being ok… The one thing I wasn’t prepared for, was her response.

My mom looked me square in the eyes and said, that she had something to tell me… All she said was, “So am I.” Was I ever in shock! That was the one scenario that my counselor and I had not thought of. Needless to say it was an instant bonding moment! She called up her co-workers and told them what had happened… She had been afraid I was coming home to tell her I disapproved of her lifestyle, that I had figured her out, and being at the school I was at, that I was going to try and change her. We went out with her friends that night, and she took me to some of the local gay bars.

That last year of college, I did finally make it back to the gay bars in Lincoln, and even made it to Omaha… Surprisingly, they both had very large gay populations. Omaha, still has some of the best bars that I have ever been to… They take a lot of pride in their bars there. That year, a new student came to school… He was quite obviously gay (think lead singer of Dead or Alive, who just happened to be his favorite band). We ended up dating. He had come from UNL and was quite familiar with the gay scene in Lincoln. He introduced me to a lot of the better known drag queens there, and I would come down every Sat night and help them get dressed for their shows.

This last year of college was the year when I finally lost all respect for the college, and had no desire to return to the school. .. Things were going fairly well with me and the boyfriend… although all we really had in common was the fact we were gay. Then it happened, I got a visit from the Student Life Office at my apartment. It had come to their attention that I was dating another man, and felt the need to talk to me (I’m sure it had nothing to do with the guy being the son of one of the theology professors at the college). They told me that they did not approve of our relationship, and said that if we did not end our relationship, they would be kicking my boyfriend out of college and that he would have to go into therapy.

I was about 2 weeks from graduation, and they said that they would let me finish out my schooling. The two of us had realized that we weren’t going to work out, so, to make the school feel better, we called it off. We were about to anyway. I didn’t want him getting kicked out of school. I don’t know what happened to him after that year, I haven’t been back to the college since then. I had many conversations with some of my professors about being gay, and not one of them told me that I needed to be saved… It was strictly the administration that was trying to keep the college’s image from being tarnished by little old me being gay, and most importantly, a practicing gay.

Yes, it was a difficult process, but I think that it certainly made me a stronger person. When I finally accepted who I was, I no longer had any doubts. I had done all I could to try and change that aspect of me, but I finally realized, that to try and change, I could never be honest to myself and others.

Volume, People, Volume!!!

I reall wish that people would learn an indoor voice, especially at work! There is a woman here today visiting with another co-worker, and she is practically yelling everything she says! Damn woman, turn it down a few notches, people are trying to work!

True Colors – Red Rocks – June 10, 2007


redrocks.jpgYesterday was the concert event I had been waiting for since January. Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors tour. For the Denver stop, they had The Cliks, The Dresden Dolls, Deborah Harry, Erasure and of course Cyndi with Margaret Cho hosting. I had not been to a Red Rocks concert since I saw Sting on the Soul Cages Tour in like 1991. It is such an amazing experience there! All the acts mentioned how humbled and in awe they were to be performing on the legendary stage that is truly the most beautiful place to experience a concert event in the world!

The show started immediately at 6pm on the dot, (the only concert I have been to that was that punctual!). And as is tradition with Red Rocks, 6pm also meant the start of rain… Although, thankfully, it was a sprinkle that lasted about 10 minutes, unlike the drenching rain that fell during Sting! But, it just isn’t a concert at Red Rocks if a little rain doesn’t fall!

margaretcho.jpgMargaret Cho was fantastic as the host. Her crass humor just added to the whole evening. She started off the night by saying that we were all here in celebration of Falwell’s death (to resounding cheers!). Her crassness definitely weeded a few people out. I know there was a couple in front of us that got offended by her and, I heard the wife say, that’s enough, and grabbed her husband and left… Oh well, they obviously didn’t know who Margaret Cho was in advance or they would have known to expect that. The one thing she kept stressing is that you straight guys out there need to clean down there! She said she would suck it if it’s clean! 😉

dresdendolls.jpgI was not all that excited about the first two acts as they weren’t really my kind of music (more suited for Dan, even if he doesn’t like the Dresden Dolls). I will say that the Cliks did a great cover of Justin Timberlake’s Cry Me a River. The Dresden Dolls give a great performance, and are quite funny, even if I didn’t care for their music that much.

deborahharry.jpgUnfortunately I was let down by Deborah Harry. She didn’t sing any of her Blondie day’s songs, it was all her solo material, and I was sadly bored. I had high hopes after seeing Blondie live in England back in 2002. I just didn’t find her solo material all that inspiring. It was still great to see her getting out there and supporting the cause! Although someone should of told her that the silver sequined mini tube skirt made her butt look like a mirrored ball, but hey, maybe that’s what she was going for.

vince.jpgandy.jpgThen Erasure came out. The entire audience was on their feet for the performance! It was great seeing that large an audience give them such a great reception! They started off with Sunday Girl, then played a few classics, and some more new tracks. The set felt very short, and seemed over in no time.. but still an amazing performance from the Duo! Vince was hilarious in his camo jumpsuit and white wig. His wig reminded me of Carol Channing, and his overall look was very Pet Shop Boy-esque. That was a bit strange to me, but fun none-the-less! They definitely still have a huge following here in the states even if most people won’t admit it. 😉

cyndi.jpgFinally Cyndi… What can I say… I have never been to a performance of hers, but I have a whole new respect for her… She is such an honest caring person! She gave a very heartfelt speech at the beginning of her set about the need for society to learn how to co-exist. Her experiences with Matthew Shepherd’s mother made her realize that we can’t get past the hate if we ourselves turn to hate over those that start the hate. I could tell that, myself included, much of the audience was in tears over her speech. She emphasized how one person can make a difference, and asked that everyone make sure to write their senators about the pending vote on the Matthew Shepard Hate Crime bill.

Her performance was amazing… Such emotion in her singing, and interaction with the audience. She went down into the audience many times to shake hands and be close to her peeps! She has got to be one of the most real people in the entertainment business, what you see is what you get with her! After the show, she came down to be with the people left, and would have stayed longer, but the Red Rocks staff wanted the people to leave so they made her go back stage, but you could tell that was not her desire.

For the end of the show, all the performers came back out on stage and did a great performance of “Take a Chance on Me” from ABBA, and then finished of the show with her song that inspired it all “True Colors.” They brought out a children’s choir with kids from CO Springs to perform with her. How great it was to see Andy and Cyndi performing together! For all those who get to go to the future performances on the rest of the tour, you are in for one amazing show!

I will get the rest of my pictures from the concert uploaded as soon as possible!

I was able to get two songs recorded with my digital camera… I apologize the quality is poor, but it wasn’t meant for recording video!

Erasure: Sunday Girl
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Cyndi Lauper: I Drove All Night

[qt:/wp-content/video/DroveAllnight.MP4 /wp-content/video/CyndiCover.jpg 320 256]